Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Steel Boxes, Trust and Love Glue

As humans we tend to protect our hearts with an imaginary steel box. We spend years building this box with only one door and one key to it. When we make the decision to give someone that key and permit passage to the inside it is a very big step and often is a sign of much greater things. However there are times in our lives when the issue of trust is challenged. After listening and reflecting on the events surrounding me the past few months I decided to gather my thoughts on trust.

The dictionary defines trust as:
-reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing

So what happens when this is Broken? Challenged? Crushed? Shaken?

It’s understandable when one’s trust is broken by someone close to us that we begin to doubt all those around us too. When something or someone turns out not to be what you thought how do you ever look at it the same? We hope our friends and colleges would never break our trust but in the back of our minds we are prepared on how to react and recover when they do.

What about when it’s closer? What about a lover, relative or a spouse? How do we cope with it then? Those people have a special place in our hearts. They spark emotions in us that no one else can. So now what? The trust is broken. Their integrity challenged. Our hearts are crushed and our world, shaken. These are the event’s that consume us. They overwhelm our hearts and minds.

What if you are on the opposite end of the issue? You were the one who broke the trust? What do you do then?

The sad side is that sometimes the pieces are too small to put back together. They have been shattered and are irredeemable. Unfortunately for some of the parties involved this is the case. We wish we could do something to help ease the pain. If only there was a magic bottle of love glue we could use it to put the remains of Humpty Dumpty back together again.

How do you find out what will make it better? Sometimes the solutions to our loved ones problems lie within their own hearts. Sometimes asking and listening to them can perform miracles.

Once you know what you have to do, then you need to make sure the actions or sacrifices you need to make are worth it. Is this person, this relationship worth changing and putting your own heart on the line? Now don’t get me wrong, this is only my opinion. Regaining someone’s trust can not just be fixed over tea and a serious conversation. It takes time, it takes actions. Sure the beginning will be tough, but if they are truly worth it you must stick through the hard times. It does get easier.

Let them know what they mean to you. Tell them what your true feelings are in the matter, without being to harsh, be gentle emotions can inhibit the way words are perceived so step cautiously. Talk about your feelings, tell them why you did or said what you did. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable in front of them lets them know that you are placing your trust in them and hope that they can one day do the same.

I know this isn’t my usual perky and cheery blog content, but sometimes relieving the strain is easier when you just type. The words flow and the thoughts are collected. Lately my thoughts have been scattered all over. Keeping it all straight can be as difficult as corralling cats.


Liz said...

These are some seriously tough issues to think about, let alone deal with. I've got no answers. I've found that in situations like these... you never know how you'll react or cope until you're actually standing in the middle of the storm.

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